running into your boss at the bar on a Tuesday night.
There are three rules that I live by:
1.) Never get less than twelve hours sleep
2.) Never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city
3.) Never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body
Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.
Jack Rabbit Slim’s
[CHUCK YOUNG VIDEO INTERVIEW RESPONSE]
Chuck Young is ‘managing editor at theNewerYork Press, manchild, husband, dad, etcetera’
he answers my questions on a sunny front porch via a puppet pirate, whom Chuck talks back to
Chuck keeps a ‘straight face’ the whole time, even amidst his own humor
here are my favorite moments:
‘Josh believed me to be the reincarnate of a middle school friend that he lost to time, so he showered me with misguided trust & affection.’
‘I write myself into everything I write. It’s a habit I’m trying to break, as I’d rather my writing be about you where I’m merely a footnote.’
‘when you factor in the Internet, literature becomes a performance piece’
‘but I do remember buying Dr. Dre’s The Chronic when I was in the 6th grade. You know, that was the first one I bought with my own money on my own. I popped it in on the minivan ride back home with my mom, & ya know the first seconds are a jail cell clink & ‘welcome to death row motherfucker, so I remember her face getting pretty red’
‘we’re here to express ourselves in a myriad of different ways to move & be moved in order to feel in better & smarter ways & pass those smarter ways to our kids, I think, until everyone is cool as fuck & everything is less sad’
MY TRIP TO TEXAS LOVE POEMS – Rachel Bell
The video begins with a panoramic view of a Texan suburb. Rachel chants ‘Texas’ hoping to wake that dead woman in Texas who hears any kid whenever they are being too loud. Homes in the pleasant Texan suburb are anything but loud. Modest in size they feel rather small compared to the gigantic-ness that makes Texas so famous. While the video is quiet at first Rachel definitely increases the drama with a song to change everything. From there a little clip comes up with Austin Islam (of internet fame) claiming to remove his pants, the only thing separating him from the world. Pants are restrictive. Pants are the fascists of the lower torso. If somebody wears pants all the time they have given in to peer-pressure. Austin Islam is beyond that. Austin Islam is a rebel without a pair of pants.
On a lake alone Austin Islam rows a boat. He is alone in this sea of internet constantly searching for the next big thing. Nobody knows what Austin Islam does. Some say he works late into the night on a masterpiece that’s going to blow the world away. Others say that Austin Islam resembles the fisherman that Hemingway wrote about ‘The Young Man and the Sea’. Either way Austin Islam remains a mystery to the internet world. Although Austin Islam has removed his pants before is that really enough to know a person? Is a pant-less person any more or less of a person? Does Rachel’s attempt of blowing up a yellow balloon a way of showing Austin Islam the sun he so desperately needs late at night? Indeed it is too hard to say.
Dancing commences. Rachel proves to be an agile dancer. Austin proves he is sleep-deprived. Either way it is fine. To further improve himself Austin trains with little tubes to hone his fighting skills. Inside those tubes are posters of famous Alt Lit stars, like Steve Roggenbuck, Tao Lin, and the infamous Beach Sloth, an anonymous persona who hides away on the internet never revealing him or herself in person. Outside the dancing continues. Only Rachel dances however. Austin Islam stays in his natural habitat the great indoors. Perhaps Austin is too tired from catching fish on the great sea.
Various words appear on screen indicating a strong desire for love and affection. This is typical human behavior. Humans are into that whole ‘feeling human’ thing. Cuteness is a part of it judging from the rainbow. Of course though there is nothing more human, more unfiltered, and rawer than C-SPAN. C-SPAN is the embodiment of media love, without bias and with concern. C-SPAN’s heart is too big for the world.
Ladies & Gentlemen: Miss Rachel Bell
Clip of Spencer Madsen & Mira Gonzalez receiving my tit pic. For just $3 it’s yours. Paypal me: xnnekaijeomax at gmail dot com
My story ‘This Will Be A Great Way To Die’ is out now in Habitat: Icon